Its not quite morning as it is 15 minutes (as I write this, certainly not by the time I post it) to noon. I feel how everyone feels in the morning: itchy, pissed off, and basically unable to speak. I say itchy not because I sleep in a hayloft but because I'm a male. In the morning males tend to itch things. Things that are precious to us. Things that help make babies. Our testicles. Did I give it away?
Last night was fun. What did you do last night? - Oh wait I don't care and I only asked you the question so that I can tell you what I did instead.
So I was doing my normal thing, nothing, and then got a text message around 6 PM. My German friend, who was grown to fill the role of "Attack of the 50 foot Bavarian" (Out in theaters this July), informed me that the band Arcade Fire was playing a free show just off of the island at Longueuil. At the time I wasn't too big of a fan of Arcade Fire, and I managed to shuffle my schedule of counting toe hairs and rearranging my canned goods by order of nostalgic value so I was available to go. I informed Godzilla I would be able to join.
So I met up with my fellow concert goer and companion Marcozy, we boarded the large underground allegory for sex, and off we went. During the course of our travels we were sat next to a rather unfashionable gentleman who loved his music very much. In fact he loved his music so much that he had purchased headphones which exceeded the maximum suggested listening volume to the point where they could have been substituted for megaphones.
The young man so was generous that he decided to share his music with the rest of us in the metro car. What did we poor schleps do to deserve an early visit from Montreal's musical Santa? We had all been good this year! It was quite delightful. Of course I mean delightful in the cotton swab-too-far-in-piercing-your-ear-drums kind of way.
The whole way to the station we lucky commuters were showered with recycled beats accompanied by modulated singing. Lovely. I've always wondered what it would sound like to hear C-3PO sticking his dick in a light socket, now thanks to this philanthropist my dreams came true. I can truly die a happy man.
Anyway...
We arrived late to the show, they had already started playing. It was a good show regardless of the fact that the crowd was the size of Samoa and every time the wind blew we couldn't hear the music, but it was good. The crowd wasn't good. They thought that because they were in the same situation as the rest of us it was okay to talk over the already quiet music we were all straining our ears to hear. That and the annoying girl who danced like a fucking moron in front of me and then texted her friend (on her gigantic chalkboard sized fucking phone) that she couldn't have sex with him tonight because she had, as she put it, "Just been fucked by Chuck Norris".
Hey lady, I know Chuck is a running joke now a days because of his pajama kicking, but I'm sure the dude has standards. I doubt you're tall enough to ride his ride, ya dig?
But the music was good. It gave me some appreciation for the band and I have since started to listen to them again. Everyone wins, huzzah!
So then afterward we went to a bar, were joined by some other friends, and sat around our little circle of solitude not talking. We then went our separate ways.
BUT NOT BEFORE STOPPING AT "NOODLES U&ME" AND GETTING SOME GENERAL TAO CHICKEN!!!!
That stuff made my night man. I swear that deep fried grade f chicken comes straight from Mount Olympus after being birthed from Zeus's nether regions. Directly into my mouth. Mmmm. Ambrosia. Its actually the sauce that makes it amazing, but I digress.
"Another order of the General, your Majesty!"
So I figured the first post was missing something, so I figured I'd tack on the last song I've been singing in my head on the end of posts. You know, to give you something else to waste your time to.
Today's gem is:
Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin!
Yes, if you know me then you'll know I absolutely adore these Missouri natives. Here is a cut off of their upcoming album, "Let it Sway".
Kindest regards and good listening!
Darren
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